Oups… I should have titled the post: “How to Diffuse Your Reaction To a Tantrum.” Whatever others do, even if they are your children, essentially has no meaning. What gives  actions their meaning is your reaction to them. Our kids look to us for reactions in order to learn how to react themselves.

As Mr. Big Baby transitioned from the terrible twos into the terrible threes, I’ve been noticing getting angry at him more often. The screaming and the stomping of the feet gets really irritating when you are trying to breastfeed one baby and change the other one. I understand that most of the time, the toddler just wants your attention, affection and recognition, but the ways he/she chooses to accomplish that can be way too annoying to keep your cool.

So, I developed this reaction technique for whenever he goes nuts about wanting to wear a bib, or wanting to have his fire truck at the table, or not wanting to go to the park, or not wanting to take a nap in the afternoon. I noticed that my son reflects my emotions: whenever I approach his tantrums from the point of calmness, he calms down faster and whenever I surround him with extra love when I want to be angry at him, he relaxes and comes to me for a kiss.

This technique came from my knowledge of yoga and reiki. Let me know if it works for you. And, please, let me know what else works! 🙂

Whenever your child starts a tantrum (screaming, throwing, crying, falling down, hitting,) visualize a bright light in the center of your chest. The light has to be warm and glowing. It can be any color you choose. I like pink or green (the colors of the heart chakra.) Now, visualize the same light in the center of your child’s chest. Imagine a beam of warm light, going form your heart center to his or hers.  Keep visualizing the beam of love until you feel calm enough to speak to your child and address the issue.